Mean Harry Potter Poems!
by gisella89
Summary: Every day (12) leading up to christmas I'll submit a short short poem that is mean or degrading in a humorous about Harry Potter. You have to keep in mind that this is my #1 fandom so PLEASE don't hate on me because I'm already giving myself a lot of hate. Just laugh and smile, because christmas is drawing nearer!
1. NEVER INVITE RON OVER

**Here's the first poem titled 'NEVER INVITE RON OVER'. I know it's short... If you really like Ron please don't give me mean comments, I love him too. But I can totally imagine this happening XD**

Never invite Ronald Weasley to your space,

He'll run around and make everything out of place,

He'll open your fridge right in front of your face,

And then eat all of the food with no grace!

Make sure not let let him in the t.v room,

Because everything there will soon go BOOM!,

Nor in your kitchen or in the bathroom,

And from learning the hard way I'll easily assume,

He'll find the perfume and try to ride your old broom,

And I can bet you you'll wish he didn't come, soon.

**Not every poem will be mean... remember that**


	2. Day 2 Poor Harry

What does it take for poor old Harry,

For people to think he isn't contrary,

He's had a hard life living with those horrible relatives,

And I can't tell you how very negative

His life always is


	3. Hermione

**Sorry I forgot yesterday. So busy!**

"TEACHER TEACHER! I know the answer!"

Hermione the prick

She makes me sick

Always so right

I wanna start a fight!

Why can anyone stand her?

Well, I know I can't, and I don't see

And how can she always freaking win?

I BET SHE HAS THE KEY

**I love Hermione so much this hurts so bad DX**


	4. DRACO

Ooooh Draco

What do I say?

You're a obnoxious

A ferret

A twitchy one at that

A worm

A snake

A rat

With a hat

A peacock

A tricky fox

And a little daddy's boy

So that's why you should realize you're only a toy

And all those fangirls who think's he's the bomb

With his platinum blonde hair and a smirk better then bond

I think they hold just leave me

Cuz Draco ain't my hubby

I'll leave him to the girls who think

He's awesome and they love his wink

One more thing I have to say,

DRACO PLEASE STAY AWAY!

And that I think you ought to know,

You're not ALL bad… Just usually, though

**Actually I love Draco but... XD**


	5. Spells

p class="p1" style="text-align: left;"strongThis one is so random XD/strong/p  
>p class="p1" style="text-align: center;"Learning spells is hardp  
>p class="p1" style="text-align: center;"I need a Que-card p  
>p class="p1" style="text-align: center;"When I'm in Flitwicks classp  
>p class="p1" style="text-align: center;"I'm not learning fast!p  
>p class="p1" style="text-align: center;"How Hermione granger does itp  
>p class="p1" style="text-align: center;"I really don't know!p  
>p class="p1" style="text-align: center;"But as for mep  
>p class="p1" style="text-align: center;"I'll just stick to gardening and how to growp  
>p style="text-align: center;" p  
>p class="p1" style="text-align: center;"Gotta go with the flowp 


	6. Gryffindor are idiots

p class="p1"strongHonestly I love Gryffindor but here it is :D :/strong/p  
>p class="p1" style="text-align: center;" p  
>p class="p1" style="text-align: center;"Gryfindors are all idiotsp  
>p class="p1" style="text-align: center;"They're all slobbery and pompous,p  
>p class="p1" style="text-align: center;"And when they try to get to their common room,p  
>p class="p1" style="text-align: center;"They're so laughable they need a compass.p  
>p class="p1" style="text-align: center;"Maned lions, really? p  
>p class="p1" style="text-align: center;"All they do is sleepp  
>p class="p1" style="text-align: center;"And that's pretty cheapp  
>p class="p1" style="text-align: center;"Actually, an animal with more umph is a Hippop  
>p style="text-align: center;" p  
>p class="p1" style="text-align: center;"Even more then female lions, so you might wanna change your logop 


	7. Hufflepuff

**DX This hurts me like you cannot possibly imagine. I am such a Hufflepuff but still... this poem isn't horrible so yar**

Hufflespuffs aren't good finders, actually.

They're not good at hide and seek

They're the rejects who weren't smart factually,

For Ravenclaw,

Weren't cunning enough,

For slytherin,

Weren't brave enough,

for Gryffindor,

So they just threw them all in the basement to sleep.


	8. Slytherin

**AW! I actually quite like slytherins...**

Slytherins are almost all twisted

They're brutes with no mind

They're all stupid, and isn't it

bad they can't find it in them to be kind.

So that's why, kids,

You should stay away from snakes,

especially the poisonous ones in the lakes,

and make sure that you always take

A lesson on good fighting


	9. Ravenclaw logic

p class="p1" style="text-align: center;"Ravenclaws think smarts/p  
>p class="p2" style="text-align: center;" is man's greatest treasure,p  
>p class="p2" style="text-align: center;"And that's where they're wrong,p  
>p class="p2" style="text-align: center;"They're all blind to a measure.p  
>p class="p2" style="text-align: center;"And can't see past the first throw,p  
>p class="p2" style="text-align: center;"and they should learn some REAL logicp  
>p class="p2" style="text-align: center;"Like the fact that's it's not quite impossible for a yeti to ride on a rainbow,p  
>p class="p2" style="text-align: center;"Yup.p  
>p class="p2" style="text-align: center;"That's logic, peoplez.p  
>p class="p2" style="text-align: center;"And they, most of all, should get that. p  
>p class="p2" style="text-align: center;"Now this doesn't wryme,p  
>p style="text-align: center;" p  
>p class="p2" style="text-align: center;"Yay.p  
>p class="p2" style="text-align: center;" p  
>p class="p2" style="text-align: left;"strongWell, that went downhill.strong/p 


	10. Loony Lovegood

p class="p1" style="text-align: left;"strongI love Luna XD I think she's my faveorite character!/strong/p  
>p class="p1" style="text-align: center;"Loony Lovegoodp  
>p class="p1" style="text-align: center;"I think she shouldp  
>p class="p1" style="text-align: center;"Read a book on mental disordersp  
>p class="p1" style="text-align: center;"It's in orderp  
>p class="p1" style="text-align: center;"for her to orderp  
>p class="p1" style="text-align: center;"A phscologist to maybe orderp  
>p class="p1" style="text-align: center;"An orderly assorted p  
>p class="p1" style="text-align: center;"Range of spellsp  
>p class="p1" style="text-align: center;"that'll sort her right,p  
>p class="p1" style="text-align: center;"Because she's not wellp  
>p style="text-align: center;" p  
>p class="p1" style="text-align: center;"(In the cranium)p 


	11. Snape

Snape is greasy,

in more then one way,

first is that hair!

I bet he's never cleaned it,

so that's why it's in a fray.

Second is personality,

Oh! It makes me shiver

Just thinking about him

When he's in a temper.

Third is his clothing,

I suppose you could say

It's not quite GREASY

but it's ugly, and there's no way


	12. MERRY CHRISTMAS!

This one isn't mean... I don't want to upload one on christmas so here's my 'Christmas' one! MERRY CHRISTMAS!

Christmas at hogwarts!

Free of nasty boggarts!

Holiday poppers with things like real mice!

Sweaters and fires and snow sprinkled with ice.

Down in the kitchen with busy elves frantic,

no, not santa's elves, house elves! Don't panic.

Up in the great hall the christmas feast begins,

Food piled up and glasses filled to the brim!

Huge evergreen trees flank the walls,

And a choir of young warlocks sing deck the halls.

Oh how I wish that I could be there…

Playing quiddich, and playing fair.

But alas, I can't

So please Santa

I only have one request

A hogwarts letter with their fancy crest


End file.
